10/22/17: The Nurf Surfers

Jimmy makes a few, last-second adjustments to his rig and scans the courtyard. Looking for cops. This is his favorite part of a run. That micro-moment in time when he must decide to either commit, and hit that Nurf full on… or bail. He lives for the thrill. Knowing he’s just about to go beyond the point of no return. But the last thing he needs is to get caught. Jimmy’s already a registered safety risk from that time when he and his crew almost successfully surfed the biggest theater in Nurfworld.

Almost.

It would have been epic too, if it weren’t for that mister safety guy. Asshole!

The crew is down in the flop. Kickin’ it up. It takes a well disciplined bunch with a real solid rhythm, to get the kind of Nurf-waves Jimmy needs to do his thang! Jimmy is one of the best, and the guys are doing all they can to get that floppy, sloppy, super spongy, big-room floor-Nuf moving like the waves of old. Back when surfers were… oh, never mind. “Shit” thinks Jimmy as he hears that all-too familiar sound of Nurf on Nurf, made by those standard-issue cop cruisers. Jimmy knows it’s time to bail but DANG! “Shit!” The boys really got that floor rolling. Sweet waves of big fat Nurf start folding over into near barrel-like rolls, smoothly and symmetrically moving across the entire open space of the Nurfworld Central Civic Safety Center.

What a cue it would be, to make a killer run across this big-assed floor, of big-assed official big asses.

But if he hits it now, he’s sure to get pinched. And this time it’s not just, lose the rig and get a scolding and official big-assed write up. No! This time it’s the school. It’s one step away from the Danger Zone.

“Shit… shit shit shit shit!

“Screw it man, I’m taking this” Jimmy say to himself, but also out loud as he let’s go and starts his drop. “This batch is simply too sweet to miss” he thinks while dropping from his perch, high in the upper reaches of the Civic Center’s dome. Activating his slipper-board Jimmy gets his flexible, slender body ready to hit the Nurf. All over Nurfworld, his fans watch in ever-increasing excitement as their outlaw hero starts his, soon to be world-famous run.

“Woop woop wooop” The cops’ siren sounds. They enter the Civic Center courtyard just as Jimmy and his board catch the top of the biggest Nurf-wave EVER! just as it starts it’s fold. The crew (such pros, these guys) immediately go into their, well-planned cop distracting protocols. Fanning out, catching the peripheral waves, they each appear to be the main surfer and thus a target to split the cop crew into more easily avoided groups.

All that pre-planning seems to be paying off, buying him time, but Jimmy is not at all conscious of this. He’s in Nurf-surf heaven. Sliding down the inner fold, he finds the wave’s sweet spot as the Nurf begins to roll over, bringing him into the pipe. He heads for the slot and pulls out his big-assed, wide, bright-color Nurf marker and tags the stuff with his signature scrawl.

“Fuckin’ worth it man, I’m going to school, but it was fuckin’ worth it!”

The entire world of Nurf-surfing fans are glued to their monitor screens, as Jimmy and his near-frictionless slipper-board rig shoot out of that pipe like a bullet from a gun. But the joyous shouts of victory are quickly supplanted by a great cry of despair. Jimmy is caught. The cops, although slightly delayed by the crew’s distractions, are waiting in force. A blocking group are set up right where they knew he would emerge. Jimmy knew full well to expect this. He’s still chanting to himself, but now much louder so all can hear.

“Fuckin’ worth it man, I’m going to school now, but it was fuckin’ worth it!”

And then… he does what no one would have ever expected. From a very well-hidden pocket in the fore-arm of his top-of-the-line Nurf-surf suit, Jimmy pulls out a small blade and starts slicing the Nurf with it! He swings this unbelievably illegal weapon wildly about, chopping large chunks of soft Nurf from the wave he’s just surfed. The Nurfworld Elite Safety Patrol, are stunned as they quickly tackle him with their bubble Nurf safety blankets.

More to come…

 

By | 2018-02-18T14:40:05+00:00 October 22nd, 2017|Nurfworld|Comments Off on 10/22/17: The Nurf Surfers