10/27/17: The Safety Patrol

“Good morning team”

“Good morning Cap’n”

“Now, I’m not going to waste anyone’s time here. Let’s get right to the ONLY thing on today’s agenda. You all know what that is, right?”

Everyone in the room nods, confirming that they are all up to date and completely understand the subject and details of this emergency briefing.

“Right!”

Captain Jonny Onnitt, Nurfworld’s Head of Public Safety Administration and Unsafe Practices Investigation, proudly scans the deeply concerned faces of these, his best and brightest. All members of the elite Safety Patrol Alpha Squad, are carefully vetted, psychically, intellectually, emotionally and ideologically. Capt. Onnitt has complete confidence that his team can handle any safety crisis put before them but this… ?

This latest development. This one has him more than a little bit rattled. Last night was a game-changer. What was suppose to be just another exercise in the recently-all-too-regular (and until now, covert) responses to those young radicals known as The Nurf Surfers, went far too far, got wayyyy out of hand. And now, the situation will require that safety protocols go into that unnerving (and totally unfamiliar) next level. Damage control.

Damage!

The word seems completely alien to him now. After over thirty years without any incident even remotely resembling last night’s escapade/disaster, the possibility that anything (and most importantly anyone) could be damaged was unthinkable… until last night. But Johnny is on it.

“I have complete confidence in this team. You all know how serious this situation is, and I know I can count on you to get Nurfworld back on safe and secure status A-SAP!”

“Sir, yes sir!!” they all shout in unison. “Huah!!”

“Outstanding!” Captain Onnitt shouts back and then drops his tone in volume but not in intensity. “This…” and he points to the image of Jimmy’s blade appearing on the monitor screen, “… is item number one in this investigation. The science department has determined that it is made of a completely out-of-date nurf, at least forty years old. Back before the composition of nurf was made totally heat resistant.” Johnny turns his attention back to his team. “Somehow, these young criminals not only got their hands on this illegal nurf, but they also have found a way to produce enough heat to have formed it into this… ”

“Weapon”

“Oooh!… ” Even among these highly experienced professionals in safety securement, and despite having seen all manner of risky behavior from the various (and rare) radical elements of Nurfworld’s otherwise total safety-conscious population, this word… “weapon” strikes straight to the heart of every member of the team. This is the greatest threat to safety any of them have ever seen… or even imagined.

“So we need intel people! We need to know how and where they got this old nurf, and we need to know it yesterday!

“Sir, yes sir!!”

“We need to know what kind of equipment could be rigged to produce enough heat, and what tools were used to shape this thing.”

“Sir, yes sir!!”

“That is all for now. I expect hourly reports and DEMAND progress by midday. No excuses! Now get to work!!!”

“Sir, yes sir!!”

“Number one, you’re with me.” Second in command, Suzy Sogood quickly salutes and follows her boss, already on his way out of the room.

“I’m going to be asking a lot from you today number one. The top brass are looking to burn someone for good if this can’t be handled before day’s end.”

“Understood sir.”

“Now let’s go to see our prisoner. You are the psyche expert here Suzy. I want this punk squawking and I want a complete report in two hours.”

 

By | 2018-02-18T15:15:11+00:00 October 27th, 2017|Nurfworld|Comments Off on 10/27/17: The Safety Patrol