My therapist recently asked me what a healthy relationship would look like in my eyes.
Do I have a frame of reference? How would I know what one of these things looked like if I’ve never HAD one?
Very soon, I’ll be coming to the end of a very disappointing year of paying for an account with Match.com. I did meet a few cool people and I must be honest that I didn’t put much effort into the whole process after failing to get any response from the one match I most wanted to meet. I really don’t like the interface but I did enjoy writing my profile.
It was that cool profile that seemed to be what attracted the few woman with which I had interactions and (even fewer) dates. I was lucky to have a dear friend who is very smart, cool and in what I would say is a “healthy” relationship, review my profile before posting. As a writer, I don’t mind saying that I’m pretty happy with it.
Here it is…
I’m a fun, kind, creative and intelligent man who has been blessed with a full and interesting life. I love my job, my friends, my lifestyle and this beautiful place where I live. Looking for a fun, kind, creative and intelligent partner to spend the rest of what’s in store… Together!
Ok so that’s the short version. Not long ago, my good friend and writing partner suggested I do something I had (surprisingly) never done before, write down my relationship “laundry list”!
HA! So I did.
She then told me to get my sorry butt back in the game and try an online dating thing again. Yada yada yada ok so here I am. Last time I tried this was over ten years ago after my last divorce. I met a few really wonderful women but… well that’s another story. I learned a lot and the most pertinent lesson for me now is that I really really REALLY need to be clear about what I want in a partner. Thus the list.
I got it all down now so if you’re still reading you… (Hi there) you must know that I’m sticking to it. Since I’d like you to keep reading I won’t talk about myself first, I’ll talk about… You!
You’re a curious one, you are (^_^) You LOVE exploring, from the outer limits of time and space to the deepest recess of your innermost fears and fabulous fantasies. Finding something spectacular, you might sit in silent contemplation, sifting slowly and systematically or bursting forth in excited expression!! It all depends on what you find, how it makes you feel and if there is someone you care to share it with.
And you can feel safe in your explorations, examinations and expressions because you stand firmly upon the kind of solid foundation that can only come from work well done. And oh, you have done your work! So well that now the play comes so very easily. There have been hard times of course but who has not had those? The hard times have left lessons, given perspective and made way for wisdom.
Now the balance of work and play, dances with you while you simultaneously manifest and marvel. That brilliant tapestry that is your life, rolls out before you in all its regal splendor and takes your breath away.
Too much? Naah…. (^_^) And you glow. Yes, you glow. With the realization that this is all so very true.
This is you.
Me? I’m just this guy… see?
Oh I’ve been around. Not just the globe but around town, around my neighborhood and all around my own stuff till I know it like the back of my other hand. And what have I gleaned from all this hanging around? Plenty.
I now know that this guy that is me is always better off with love. It just works every time, love does. So I try and give it all I can. Of course the first one who gets it is… me. I even wrote a song about that. It’s a cute little ditty called “Lovin’ Me” and I first played and sang it for a lovely lady I thought I was “in love” with.
That was back when (silly me) I thought I could make someone love me.
But my favorite place to practice this giving thing is my job. How cool is that? I get to help people and get paid for it. The other important lesson I learned from my previous perusal into online linking up n stuff is… If we click at all in here. We need to meet F2F real soon. To see if we really do… click, connect, resonate… ya know? For real.
I’m really good with it being cool if we don’t n stuff. Trust me, I’m not going to try and fake it, force it or otherwise make what wouldn’t work into something seeming like it might. Nope. Done with that, I am. And I think I know what it looks like when someone else is doing that too. Not gonna stay quiet if that happens.
But of course you… Mmm You wouldn’t do that either because you are…