“So… what do you think?”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t think?”

“Oh I think alright, I just don’t want to right now.”

“Oh… ”

“Look, you and your uber-diverse, little collection of friends are all nice and cool and smart and interesting and all that, but don’t be expecting anything from me. I’m not a joiner.”

“That’s cool dude, I just thought… ”

“You just thought I’d see all that authenticity in your nakedness and suddenly start on some kind of transformative, self-examination process. You just thought I’d have a great big personal ‘aha’ moment of clarity and start sharing a bunch of newly-discovered, paradigm-shifting revelations. So you can all nod in approval and affirm your own… whatever those are.

I got news for you pal, I look at myself real hard every day.”

“And… ?”

“And it’s not something YOU need to hear about. It’s for ME Duude, and I’m not about to get all vulnerable and start sharing. Vulnerability is for chumps and sharing is always attached to some hidden agenda. Whether the one driving the agenda is aware of what they’re doing, or not.

I’m not saying that you and your friends are ignorant or stupid or untrustworthy or anything like that. In fact, I think the exact opposite. You all seem to be quite smart and exceptionally honest. I just think you’re a bit naive.”


“Yea, that radical guy with his fuzzy bunny, frew-frew fantasy world of never-gonna-happen goofy ideas is the worst. I could write a book about all the wrong thinking he’s guilty of. If I was a psychologist I might try and figure out how his mind works but I really don’t have the time and he’s not hurting anyone but himself. He’s got an awakening coming some day and it’ll be rude in the extreme.

Too bad… he’s a really nice guy.

But that very reasonable guy pretending to look like a scientist, is actually just as bad. Only in a very different way. He’s smart and likes to think rationally and all that, but he’s scared shitless to take a stand. He likes to think he’s being pragmatic but in reality, he just doesn’t want to plant his flag anywhere. He’s afraid he’ll end up on the wrong side, so he refuses to take one.

Instead, he ends up being intellectually all over the place. He then tries to hide that fact by couching his lack of clarity in overly pedantic, posturing rhetoric.

The poor sod… he just looks confused to me.”

“What about… ”

“What about you?

YOU, my naked friend are a piece of work, you are. And so is your other half. I think I’ll keep my thoughts on you two, to myself for now.

Is that ok with you?”

“Of course, we’re always open. Anytime you feel like sh… ”

“Yea… whatever.”