I would never again, show Allen that side of me. I never had to. My adult self kinda wishes I'd paid more attention to how effective it was for me to be the quiet, big hairy dude. Rather than my default good natured and social, big hairy dude. Instead of seeing myself as putting on a [...]
At the time I was simply acting reflexively. After all, I was actually in survival mode. -------------------------------------------------------- In survival mode... and hungry. I'm walking with this guy I just met a few days ago. This "Crazy Allen" my little gang of street punk friends had been talking so much about. That's what one of the [...]
Crazy? Yea... crazy man. -------------------------------- My little gang of friends (the street punks who introduced me to him) worshiped Allen. He was the coolest, baddest and most fun crazy dude they could ever imagine. Allen made street life way funner for them than TV or any movie... EVER! The fact that Allen really was the [...]
"Hey big guy, check this out." Allen grabs another Schlitz "Tall Boy" from the cooler by his chair and opens the bottom with a church key. Of course I know all about "shooting beers" but Allen seems intent upon showing me something cool that he "invented" so... Who am I to harsh his buzz? (wait [...]
"Ok... everybody off the roof!!" I was just getting another bucket of tar from the hook and line setup we had to bring it up from the guy working the kettle below. "Heh" I was thinking "your turn buddy"... when our foreman started ordering us all to stop working and get off. I turned to [...]
To try and put it in all at once would be courting disaster. ----------------------------------------- All day. I'm working the kettle. Toxic fumes from the tank, surround me. My skin sweats oil and dirt and chemical waste. All my muscles ache from lifting the cakes of tar, chopping them into manageable chunks and bending over the [...]
"Ya know one o them crazy motherfuckers actually jumped in there last time?" "What?" "Pay attention kid! You actually might learn something." The guy "training" me spits his cigarette on the ground and walks closer. "That's what I'm doing." I say under my breath. I'm holding it of course. Last thing I need is to [...]
And now I’m here. Walking in this town in Kansas. Walking away from a sad, ugly strip club thinking of the strip club Fred brought me to in Omaha. ------------------------------------ Fred had just gotten the job as head of security at Brandeis Department Store. To celebrate, he arranged a babysitter for the kids and took me [...]
Walking. No direction, no purpose, no thoughts. Until one night when I let those guys talk me into coming with them. What a depressing, ugly place. That small, dark, smoky, sad, sad room. Toxic sadness. Sad men, sad women... Sad, leering men. A few (most with our little group of roofers from Omaha) making an effort [...]
It was windy and an ugly dust was blowing all over them. I could barely see the men as they scrapped, shoveled, wheelbarrowed and threw the ugly, dusty mess over into the chute. Down into a large bin. The dust was everywhere and I didn’t have to be in it (I would be soon enough) [...]