it wasn’t always so easy
being a weirdo
all my early memories
reveal a not-so-quiet
desperation
to fit in
to be liked
but also
to get attention

yes, i’ve always been loud
if that’s the way you want to put it
i talk too loud
and too much
and i don’t know when to stop
especially when i think i have an audience

it took a long time though (too long i guess) for me to realize that being loud and talkative and obviously looking for attention is not necessarily consistent with
fitting in

it’s weird

eventually the stage became my comfort zone
and yet
i was never “good enough” to make much of that
make it a career
but now
finally
in my 60s
i found the secret
the path to reconciling all this

i finally found the way
which has brought me to a place
i never thought i could be
a place i never thought someone like me
could truly feel comfortable
where i can be myself
and not have to worry about fitting in
or being liked
and i’m calling it
the weirdo way

so far i love it

m(___)m

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