reflections upon the strugglea kind of post-traumatic transformationephemeralyet timeless i don’t get itbut somehow it feels like i’m not supposed to since every morning begs the questionwill it be heaven or… some sad excuse to feel like shit funny how often it’s the latter bugger bound to finally be found the culprit and then comes [...]
in the hours and minutesof quiet uncertaintyi can feel the muffled screamsthe dreaded forebodingof imagination again the fear besets my conscious mindagain the destruction of all that hope hath built and as this great lie takes its placean unshackled panic sends my body to quake and shiver teeth grindhands clenchand claw to shreds all within [...]
this dayexpanding beyond the tormentonly to sufferanother unnecessary moment in a land of confusionthat withdraws all illusionof peace battles ragea generation comes of ageand the old guard prepares to goyet unwilling this daywhich breaks behind anothershall then revealthose who run for cover fingers pointing at the wallfail to prevent the fallof empire bodies rotminds present [...]
the body movesit gurgles and groanslooking for peacecasting off stones within the declineubiquitous paina balance of powerconsuming the brain but yes and the worldbut no not todaythe morning callspretension fallsforced to find another way the sequence is setthe choices are clear when i’m outta hereit won’t matterthe body movesthe world chatters and it’s far from [...]
it’s always been hereinextricably woven into the fabric of existencethe universal languagemanifestas vibrational expressions of the divine it makes me cryit makes my soul singit makes its way throughto the very heartof everything musicglorious music from the beginning of my brief time in this reality i’ve been blessed by the music that somehow lives within [...]
the doctor said well honestlythere’s nothing where you’re telling methat all my tests could possibly explain at least not within my expertisebut you can have some small reliefso here’s some pills to really fog your brain cause we can’t find the painno we can’t find the painof course it’s therebut exactly wheremust be lost in [...]
with every breathethe real and present challengesof choicemarch before me legions of decisionsurround my every turnthey storm the ramparts of my mindand drive me inward no more timeno more pandering this fickle heart of mineonly consequences remain to let go of the pettythat which serves only my naive need for external affirmationand my juvenile desire [...]
yepit really is all about methis inevitable returnto infancy the state of the worldthe caresof humanity ‘twas easy to discoverhow at best they now do hovermy periphery and only thus shall they invadethe poetry in me me me me Cancer Boy Comes Clean \\(^O^)//
another strugglea change in positiontoo long in repose the pain is unevenwithout specific locationa dull vibration never herealways there being upright is easy nowi supposea recent clarityhas won the day with the joy of a freed prisoneranother dawn ritualand another trepidatious movementinto hope to address the next stepand finally againto feel almost fully clothed yet [...]
did i do thisor is it happeningto me how much agencycan there possibly be was my fate bakedinto an ill-fated cake or will its flavor dependon some as yet unrealized dream curiousthese questions the gravity is stunningis it any wonder so many of us are caught running but i suppose the precise poseis of little [...]