I can’t remember how I got here.
Try as I might… it’s just not coming to me. All I know is that I’m here, now. On the side of the freeway. State highway seventy two. Well south of I-80. South Omaha.
Near the stockyards.
I’m on my way home. Heh… home? Am I calling my dingy little room in midtown home now? I guess at the moment I’ve put enough value on keeping it, that I’ve gone and made this crazy journey to pay the rent so…
Well, I needed to do more than that. I’m getting real hungry. My supplies ran out a while ago and I don’t feel like asking Allen for any more favors. It was enough that he took me to that Burger King where he works and got me fed that one time.
That time I reminded Allen of how much bigger I am than him.
We were on our way and Allen stopped to get in a fight with some stupid wrestler dude from his girlfriend’s old school and I had to step in and stop it so we could go and eat. I was so hungry and they were taking way too long. I think I scared them both. I just wanted to get going and get that Burger King food in me.
I’m hungry like that now.
But there’s no way I could have stopped and gotten something to eat in the neighborhood where they cashed my check. I had to get outta there. That place was real scary. I was so scared I don’t even want to think about it now. So I don’t. I am so not wanting to think about it that I can’t even remember what happened. I’m not sure I ever will remember.
It’s crazy that I did this, but I’m not even aware of that yet. All I can think of is that I finally have my money and I’ve got to get back to midtown. I also can’t remember who told me about that place “in the Mexican neighborhood near the river, near Brown Park… ” he’d said. “It’s a place where anyone can cash a company paycheck like that. ID or no ID.”
At least I had the where-with-all to get the hell outta there the moment I had the cash. I can’t even remember how much I have. That check was for well over four hundred bucks but I was probably lucky to get whatever it is I got. I’m sure they charged me at least a hundred. Someone could easily have just decided to kill me for the money that’s now burning up my coat pocket.
It’s getting dark and it’s cold. The wind is blowing my coat so I have to hold it down with my hands as I walk. I’m not actively thumbing it. I just thought the freeway would be the safest and most direct route back. No way I’d want to carry all this cash though those neighborhoods I went through on my way here.
But I don’t remember any of that now. The route I walked, what happened… nothing. All I can remember is that I’m hungry and I need to keep walking. All I can remember is that last footstep from the one I’m putting down, now. Step after step. It’s such a long way. Shit! a car is stopping for me.
Shit! I don’t want to talk to anyone. Not here. Not on the side of the freeway in the middle of the night with no cars passing by. At all. I don’t even know how late it is, but it does look to be very late. Shit!
There’s no one around and this car is stopping and I’m going to have to deal with whoever it is and I’m tired and hungry and scared.
Shit!
