“Damn it!!”
Bent over the passenger seat of my car in a most awkward and undignified position, the irony of this, when compared to where I was (in my minds’ eye) just minutes ago…
Boggles…
It boggles the mind indeed.
“Damn it all!!”
The blasted boggling of my beleaguered mind then redoubles as the plastic straw (yes, a plastic straw) the stupid damn plastic straw that I just dropped, lands perfectly and exactly where it need be to disappear completely into the gap between the carseat and the center floor console. I feel it mock me as it goes down.
I feel the stupid damn plastic straws’ delighted derision as it descends down into to the deep dark depths of the cranny-ist of crannies in my car. Down to where it can join the original object of my current ire and chagrin.
That blasted french fry.
——
Yes, I ate a french fry yesterday.
I ate several french fries and did not feel at all at odds with my otherwise healthful habits.
So there!
It was a day of reasonable compromise. I’d had many more pressing issues requiring my attention throughout the day, and thus was only barely able to get to work on time. So availing myself of the dreaded fast “food” became the most convenient option for staving off an all out distractive hunger. A pending hunger of much more than mere peckishness.
I’d acquired the french fry in question on my way home after the said reasonably compromising day. I was actually feeling quite satisfied as to my days’ accomplishments. While not ground-breaking or earth-shaking, my activities had been (at the very least) life-affirming.
After the undeniably life-challenging events of the last several months, a bit of life and love-averment (in addition to that from my loving sweetheart of course) was welcome indeed.
And a satisfying affirmation of life was exactly what I’d been feeling, before this bloody damn french fry and subsequent stupid damn plastic straw incident.
——
I was back in the swing of things, back in the saddle. Yes, yesterday I deigned deny modesty and concluded (quite correctly) that things have been going very well for me as of late, and I do deserve some considerable credit. I observed myself again navigating my tropical island world like nobody’s business, and saw the confidence come in. Into my fully conscious self-awareness.
Yea, I got this!
And then I dropped that damn french fry.
——
“Pathetic, absolutely pathetic!”
It took no time at all for me to see that I was not going to be able to extract the damn embarrassingly greasy critter attractor easily. My finger is no where near skinny enough and as I drove home, my mind went through all manner of self-recrimination for having done the deed. Eating in my car is not my normal habit since my jungle home is inhabited by so many creatures just waiting for such a human slip-up to feed them.
“I’m going to have to get this thing outta here at some point.”
I tell myself that it’s no big deal and I know that I’m right about that, but I’m still too fixated to let the thing go just now. I can think of no tool in my car up to the job of extracting the damn french fry… so I go for a silly solution. The stupid damn plastic straw.
Attempting to use the stupid damn plastic straw as a probing tool to fish around for the damn stupid french fry is an exercise in futility in the extreme (as you my dear reader will know from the beginning of this piece) and as the stupid damn plastic straw also disappears into my cars’ chasmic crevasse (just next to where Tommy will sit when next we go for our weekly noodles) I soon abandon all hope for a resolution before this days’ end.
“Damn it!!”
As I begrudgingly give in, and return to my default demeanor of happiness and general gratitude, I laugh and realize how I now have a far better story for tomorrows’ (now todays’) blog post topic. My naked shame becomes good ‘n nakedly good for me and I smile to contemplate sharing the whole thing with my dear loving sweetheart in the morning before writing the rest of…
This.
Onward and upward.
——
Blessed…
m(___)m
