He was so lonely. Among all these people and while actually engaged in an interaction with a person looking straight at him…
———————————————–
As I sat with my good friend in another part of the bar, I kept thinking of the man we’d just left… still talking to the young woman at the door of the music venue. I felt a sad recognition of what he was feeling. Thinking of how I’d been there myself and could easily go there again. To that lonely place of frantic desperation to connect.
Soon my good friend and I were chatting about this and that. Being real, being truly connected friends. I listened to my friend tell me about some times in his life, he’d never shared before. It was such a contrast from where I’d just been with that other guy. And such a happy thing to recognize how important such a seemingly simple thing was in my life.
We went back into the music venue, past the guy still talking to the young woman at the door. Still talking as if his life depended upon being heard right then and there. As we passed, I put my hand on his shoulder. “Good seeing you again man” I said.
Back inside, the band had already started. The music was upbeat and happy. There were friends on stage, sitting with me and up dancing. I couldn’t have asked for a better place to get my happy feet on and dance myself.
I love to dance. But at some point around the turn of the most recent millennium, I lost my happy feet a for quite a long time. I’ve had a few occasions to enjoy it again in recent months but it’s been a while and I’ve yet to get back to where I was before.
Before…
Anyway, here in this music venue, with so many friends around and such a good atmosphere for it, I found myself wondering why I wasn’t already up and sharing my moves for all to enjoy. There was plenty of room. My usual excuse for not dancing (when I felt the need for one) was that there wasn’t room for big old me, twirling about and running into people. Doubtless most of the people in this place would have actually enjoyed me running into them in the way one does while happily dancing to happy music like this.
Why was I still sitting? I couldn’t say, but I was aware that I was asking myself that question. Did it have anything to do with that guy out by the door? I still had no idea. It was as if I was rooted to my chair. I watched as the leader of the band (an old hippy from the 60s still sharing his happy music all over the world) came down onto the dance floor and led the dancers around into a fun-filled circle of joy.
Then I too… felt that lonely feeling.
“It’s ok” I said to myself. “I can feel this, and I can know that I’m ok.”
Eventually, my friend who had been performing with the band joined us and we all left together. On the way home we chatted about the evening, the people, the music… more fun times planned for the near future.
Three friends. Real and connected.
Next time perhaps I’ll dance.
Blessed…
m(___)m
