“You know what else I hate?”
“Don’t be a hater dude, it’s bad for your soul.”
“It’s just a figure of speech. I hate it when… ”
“That’s a funny expression, eh? Figure of speech… go figure.”
“HYPERBOLE then! I was being hyperbolic. Just let me finish my sentence.”
“Sucks when people do that, doesn’t it dude.”
“Yea, yea ok I get the point. Now can I get this one across?”
“What really annoys me is when people announce on Facebook that they are going to be taking a break from Facebook. Like anyone really cares! I mean, use social media or don’t use social media. Use these tools however you want, but just DO IT! Just because I accepted your “friend” request, doesn’t means we are actually, like… friends.
And even if we WERE friends, I don’t need a play-by-play on ANYONE’s personal process. I don’t need to see exactly how YOUR particular sausage is being conceived. Give me a break! It’s like these people are so self-conscious about what their so-called friends think about THEM, that they feel they have to post every mundane thought that comes into their obviously over-exposed head.
I don’t need to see that crap! Get over yourself.”
“Don’t beat around the bush dude, tell me how you really feel.”
“Droll duuude, very droll.”
“So what would you say, if I started making announcements on my blog?”
“Oh don’t do that.”
“I like your blog the way it is. I like how you publish every day and that you don’t enable comments. If you started making announcements, it would look too much like you’re asking for your readers to engage you there, in the blog. Let them contact you on social media and/or email. That’s what they’re for. Or how about a phone call? Anyway, I like that you’ve separated all that. It seems to work. So don’t mess with what ain’t broke.
I also like how you use fictional characters to express various aspects of who you are and what you’re thinking about. It’s quite creative.”
“Wow! Thanks dude, I’m flattered.”
“Don’t be. I still think most of your ideas are a bunch of bliss ninny nonsense. No money, no schools, no elections… I can get where you’re going intellectually but it’s a complete waste of synaptic activity. The one about the earth being a giant organism and the purpose of humans being to burn things… that’s cute, but none of that other stuff is likely to even come close to happening. Why bother?”
“I dunno. It’s something to do. Better than sitting around brooding about the choices of a thousand people with whom you only have contact in cyberspace.”