12:03 pm
Setting down to contemplate the morning
After a nice distraction of mindless cheesy 90s TV sci-fi entertainment
After a nice lunch omelet with mushrooms, cheese, homegrown spinach and some fried potatoes
After a nice start on dealing with an unpleasant personal issue which I am glad to now have some much clearer information
After a nice conversation with my sweetheart

My Sweetheart
I love her so

She sensed that I was distracted, seeming to her to be distressed
I didn’t know what she meant
I thought otherwise
I suggested it was just the tone of my voice
because I was slightly congested

I still am not sure if I was actually distressed at the time
or if I was simply not aware that I was
and she was picking up what I was not
either way I am glad for the intimacy

And perhaps I was distressed
I have reason to be distressed
at any given moment and yet
it’s my practice to be otherwise

Last night a passenger I’ve known for several years but have not seen for quite a while
was distressed
This passenger is not normally so
and in fact, this passenger is normally quite upbeat
against all odds
but not last night

I did all I could to be otherwise

This was not my only reason by any means
but I am always aware of how unproductive it is
to dwell
so I try not to
I try and be otherwise

So after considering all this and deciding to sit down and write
I decide to look for a featured photo
at random so
I open my photo library
containing 28,364 photos and 1,317 videos

and due to the happenstance of file dating (or some such digital tag thingy)
the first photo in my library is what you see above

This has me looking at the history of what this image represents
and how does this help me to not be distressed

or find myself otherwise