here i sit
intentionally blurring my vision
killing time
between fleeting joy
and random crisis

no plan will suffice
no action
would make any difference

this is simply the way it is
this is the world
no one but myself
to blame
or credit
for my experience

how things should be
could’ve been
or will someday become
has almost nothing to do with me
and yet

at the same time
all i do
somehow affects everyone and everything around me

there is so much of this i will never understand
or need to
but my decisions lay right there
in plain sight
naked

and
my love is clear
for all to see
no longer my responsibility
to prove
or even explain

i doubt it ever was

so please
leave me alone
i promise not to complain
or point a finger
in the end
i will still be here

just leave me now
sitting quietly
in my grief
and happiness
don’t worry

i’ll be fine

——

m(___)m